The Massacre Marathon is one of a few races that I look forward to each year. The race is a 16-lap marathon around a local park where the first lap is 2.2 miles and each of the following laps are 1.6 miles. While it’s open to solo runners, the majority of participants put together two, four, or eight person teams. To keep order, organizers have a couple rules. Four person teams must alternate laps. All other team combinations can run whatever lap configurations they choose provided each person on a team runs at least one lap. Got it? Good.
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I’ve journaled about my runs from 5K to ultramarathons. Some with shoes, some without shoes, and some in costume just because.
Lakeside Trail Race Report: Krispy Kreme and Karma
I’m not a Krispy Kreme guy. I grew up outside of Chicago where the town literally ran on Dunkin and the four food groups were glazed, creme filled, cruller, and munchkins. Those were the days. Unfortunately, by the time I made my way to NC, got married, and had a kid, Dunkin’ took the fun out of getting donuts, which left me with Krispy Kreme.
A few months ago, while my wife slept in, I took my 4-year-old son to a local Krispy Kreme. We walked in and he made a B-line to the glass providing a panoramic view of an assembly line of glazed delectables. His mouth gaped as the donuts were dunked in oil, flipped, and run through “Sugar Falls” for a good glazing. From that point forward he’s been Krispy Kreme all the way.
Let me break for a second, flash forward a few weeks, and then I’ll jump back to more donut stories in another flash forward-back scenario.
John, Lakeside’s race director, and I went out for a run with a friend of his. We started at Bryan Soccer Complex, made our way 4 miles down the trail to Yanceyville Road, and then onto Blue Heron Trail. Just as we entered the woods John hit a stump in the middle of the trail and fell to the ground pretty hard. I laughed, he didn’t, and the three of us continued on. On the way back, John hit the same stump, I laughed again, he didn’t again, and the three of us made the 4 mile return trip to the car.
READ MORERunning a 5K as a Fireplace
This year marked my fifth year running the Reindeer Romp 5K in Jamestown, NC. What makes this race particularly enjoyable is not the course or the post-race bananas. No, this race is my favorite because I get to run it dressed up in some ridiculous holiday-themed costume.
I’ve run as a Christmas present, the Grinch and his sleigh, a Christmas tree, and as a conductor pushing the Polar Express. Each year it has become increasingly more difficult to top the previous, which is further complicated by the increasing number of costumed runners who are vying for the top prize. If I was going to compete I was going to have to dig a little deeper this year.
To aid in the creative process, I called up my 100 song Christmas playlist and broke out my sketch book. After almost an hour and a half of scribbling to the tune of Christmas classics, Nat King Cole came on. At that point I knew exactly what I was going to create.
Race Report: Pilot Mountain Payback 2014
Back in the fall my buddy, John, asked me if I was running Pilot Mountain Payback again. I told him that I would run it provided I was able to train for it. If I learned anything from last year’s adventure it’s that the marathon isn’t really a marathon. It’s a come-to-Jesus journey in which you run up and down a mountain with the hopes that you don’t come to Jesus before you cross the finish line.
Flash forward to the first week of January when I found out I had a kidney stone. Pretty awesome, right? Well, a week later I ran a 15-mile trail race. Pretty smart, right? Over the ensuing few weeks I ran a grand total of 40 miles which averaged out to about “not enough to run a trail marathon” miles per week. That’s when I told John that I wouldn’t be participating.
Then Mother Nature intervened…
READ MORERunning a 5K pushing the Polar Express
Christmas is a special time of year. Setting up the tree, spreading holiday cheer, and running in a costume in the Reindeer Romp 5K in Jamestown, NC. The tree is easy, my wife and I bought a fake one. Holiday cheer is also fairly easy. The latter, however, is somewhat difficult.
In the past I’ve run as a Christmas present, the Grinch (with a sleigh), and a Christmas tree. This year, I wanted to go as something completely ridiculous (well, ridiculous-er). I thought of something awesome, was all gung-ho, then had to change it due to unforeseen circumstances requiring my son to join in on the fun. So, I asked the little guy what he thought we should make and he went with the one thing he loves more than anything else—The Polar Express.
READ MORERace Report: Army Ten-Miler 2013
This past weekend I ran the Army Ten-Miler (ATM), a fantastic 10-mile road race in Washington, D.C. that starts and finishes at the Pentagon, passing by landmarks including the Lincoln Memorial, Washington Monument, Jefferson Memorial, and the Capitol Building.
Since the inaugural race in 1985 the ATM has grown from a humble 1,379 finishers to 25,925 finishers in 2013. Nearly 300,000 runners have participated since the race began, and only one man, U.S. Army Col. (Ret.) Lew Goldberg, who has run every Army Ten-Miler since 1985.
While I’m no Lew Goldberg, I have run the race three times before. I ran the race with shoes in 2006 (1:13:05) and without shoes in 2011 (1:17:29) and 2012 (1:12:06). This year, for my fourth running, I opted for Vibrams thanks to my ongoing battle with plantar fasciitis.
READ MOREMy First Ultra: 40 miles later
In 2012, my buddy John joined the Blue Ridge Relay GO FAR team. I’d later learn that he was using the relay as a training run for an upcoming ultramarathon. I thought, what an idiot. Then I thought, wait, what’s an ultramarathon?
In short, an ultramarathon is defined as any running event longer than the traditional marathon length of 26.2 miles (42 km). Good gravy, that sounds awful. Yeah, John is definitely an idiot.
After the BRR, John talked me into running the Pilot Mountain Payback Marathon. As we trained for the Payback and as we ran the race, John kept talking about running ultras. Eventually I fell victim to his persuasive tactics and signed on for the Triple Lakes Ultra 40 miler. Then I thought, I’m an idiot.
If you’ve run a marathon, then you’re pretty familiar with how to train for an ultra. You just have to run more. Between May and October I logged 600 miles. Most of my runs were on the road, about 100 miles were on trails, and my longest run was 29 miles. Beyond that, I didn’t do much more to prepare myself. I just ran, a lot.
READ MOREBlue Ridge Relay 2013: A coin flip, an injury, and a goat’s leg
Two years ago I was frantically figuring out how I would participate in the Blue Ridge Relay, a picturesque 208-mile relay stretching from Grayson Highlands State Park in Virginia to downtown Asheville, North Carolina.
In the three years I’ve been running with Team GOFAR, 11 of my fellow runners opted for early retirement, and only a few offered up repeat performances. In fact, only 4 runners from the first year’s team have returned each year.
With that said, the BRR2013 Team GOFAR was comprised of a great group of athletes ranging in ages from 2 to 12 (in dog years). And, in the end we rocked the relay in 31 hours 16 minutes and 45 seconds.
READ MORERace Report: Pilot Mountain Payback Marathon
If you’ve ever said to yourself, “I’d love to run a trail marathon up and down a mountain in the dead of winter” then I have a race for you. It’s called the Pilot Mountain Payback, and you can expect your bum handed to you when you cross the finish line.
The course is a mixture of technical single track, rocky bridal trail, with a bit of roadway for good measure. There are six stream crossing, and just so you don’t get comfortable, calf-burning climbs and quad-busting descents (check out the elevation profile: 3,588′ gain and 3,584′ loss).
Well, because I tend not to consult common sense when choosing a race, I decided to sign up with a buddy of mine, John. Together we would conquer this little North Carolina hill.
READ MORERunning a 5K as a barefoot Christmas Tree
There aren’t many runs I look forward to more than the Reindeer Romp 5K in Jamestown, NC. Not just because it’s close to home, but because I get to run it in a homemade holiday-themed running costume.
The first year I ran as a gift. Last year I went as the Grinch pushing my son in a sleigh. This year I went as a tree.
The tree idea came to me as I nearly suffocated in my Grinch mask last year. I didn’t just want a tree. I wanted one with lights, garland, ornaments, and a real moving-around-the-tree train.
Over the next 51 weeks I planned my costume in my head. And like a kid who’s had all year to put together his science project I finally made it to Hobby Lobby to get materials for my tree the Monday before the race.
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